Consent & Healthy Relationships
At the heart of healthy, protected, and respectful sexual experiences lies the power of communication and consent. In any relationship, effective communication is crucial to obtaining and maintaining consent. It is the key to sexual well-being and empowerment.
To achieve positive communication and healthy relationships, you need:
Self-awareness:
Sexual self-exploration is very important for the health, relations, and pleasure of each person, as well as staying informed through reading, watching, and discussing educational, sex-positive content. It improves sexual experiences and self-awareness and leads to effective communication with partners. The first step to fostering open and honest discussions about desires, boundaries, and limits involves understanding your own body, and what is normal for you, identifying pleasure preferences, acknowledging fetishes, and recognizing personal limitations. Therefore, it is essential to dedicate time to self-discovery and the exploration of your sexuality.
Clear, open, and honest communication:
It is important to talk openly and honestly about desires, preferences, fantasies, fetishes, boundaries, and limits. Sharing thoughts and feelings about sex can strengthen emotional intimacy, enhance the connection between the partners, and empower individuals to feel more in control of their bodies and choices.
Communication is essential for obtaining and giving consent and it leads to more satisfying sexual relationships. Therefore, it is vital for fostering healthy, protected, and satisfying sexual experiences.
Boundaries:
Boundaries are the limits and guidelines you establish to define what is comfortable and acceptable for you in any situation, unapologetically. They are subjective to each individual.
There are different types of boundaries:
Emotional: involves your feelings, thoughts, and emotional well-being.
Physical: includes your personal space and physical comfort, such as hugging, kissing, and any type of physical touch.
Sexual: consists of what you are comfortable with regarding sexual activity and intimacy.
These boundaries are crucial for maintaining healthy, respectful, and balanced connections with others and they help create healthier and more fulfilling relationships by promoting understanding, empathy, and mutual respect. It is important to listen to verbal and nonverbal cues to ensure that everyone is comfortable and willing to continue. Ignoring or pressuring someone after they have declined or withdrawn consent is a violation of their boundaries and is considered sexual assault.
Continuous and revocable consent:
Consent is one of the most essential aspects of any relationship and sexual activity. Consent should be a conscious, voluntary, sober, and ongoing agreement that affirms that the person involved willingly, knowingly, and enthusiastically agrees to engage in sexual activity and each sexual act. Consent must be freely given, meaning that no one should feel forced, threatened, or manipulated into engaging in any sexual act. Moreover, at any point, any of the involved persons have the right to withdraw their consent even if they initially agreed to engage in a sexual activity and their decision should always be respected.
Power dynamics, such as a social power that comes from one or a combination of prestige, age, gender, class, or status that can affect the balance of power, may exist in a relationship. In this case, consent cannot be freely given if one person feels they have no choice but to comply due to these dynamics. Therefore, being mindful of signs of power imbalances (such as one person dominating conversations, making decisions without considering others, or using their position or influence to control or manipulate), and striving for equality in the decision-making processes is crucial for maintaining balanced and respectful interactions.
Consent can be verbal, physical, and emotional. However, verbal consent through an explicit “yes” is encouraged since it is the clearest and most direct way.
The person should have the capacity to consent: all parties involved in a sexual encounter must have the mental and emotional capacity to provide consent. This means they should be of legal age (above 18 years old in Lebanon), sober, and not under the influence of any substances, drugs, or alcohol.
In summary, consent is about communication, respect, and mutual agreement. It is the responsibility of all parties involved to ensure that everyone is comfortable and willing to participate in any sexual activity. It is a critical component of healthy and respectful sexual relationships.
Written by:
Cristel Lahoud | Sexual health educator, midwife
Cristel Lahoud is a sexual health educator at Marsa, holding a Bachelor's degree in Midwifery and currently pursuing a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology. Her profound dedication lies in raising awareness and promoting advocacy for both sexual and reproductive health.